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Captain Stormfields Visit to Heaven - Mark Twain

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Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven


Well, when I had been dead about thirty years I begun to get a
little anxious.  Mind you, had been whizzing through space all that
time, like a comet.  LIKE a comet!  Why, Peters, I laid over the
lot of them!  Of course there warn't any of them going my way, as a
steady thing, you know, because they travel in a long circle like
the loop of a lasso, whereas I was pointed as straight as a dart
for the Hereafter; but I happened on one every now and then that
was going my way for an hour or so, and then we had a bit of a
brush together.  But it was generally pretty one-sided, because I
sailed by them the same as if they were standing still.  An
ordinary comet don't make more than about 200,000 miles a minute.
Of course when I came across one of that sort - like Encke's and
Halley's comets, for instance - it warn't anything but just a flash
and a vanish, you see.  You couldn't rightly call it a race.  It
was as if the comet was a gravel-train and I was a telegraph
despatch.  But after I got outside of our astronomical system, I
used to flush a comet occasionally that was something LIKE.  WE
haven't got any such comets - ours don't begin.  One night I was
swinging along at a good round gait, everything taut and trim, and
the wind in my favor - I judged I was going about a million miles a
minute - it might have been more, it couldn't have been less - when
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